


Help

by clownapologist



Category: supermega
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 04:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownapologist/pseuds/clownapologist
Summary: matt doesn't realize that the help he needs has been in front of him the whole time





	Help

Matt sighed in annoyance, the long day of recording really did a number on him. With the lackluster amount of sleep from the past few days, which were his fault ultimately, he slumped back on the recording couch, closing his eyes. Running his hands over his face as if to rub away his dark circles, Matt buried his head in his hands, rubbing at his eyes slowly. Ryan glanced over at his friend across the couch after shutting off the recording equipment, leaning back.  
“You okay man? You look beat. Just like An-“ Just before Ryan could finish his joke, a swift hand smacked him in the chest, with no force intended.  
“Not now dude, seriously. Please.” Matt furrowed his brow, glancing over at the other with a pleading look. He looked horrible, and Ryan had noticed that this morning. He didn’t want to say anything as to upset his friend, but at the same time he was worried.  
Ryan nodded, understanding. “So what’s up? Do you want to talk about anything?”  
Matt looked away with a shrug, folding his arms over his chest. Lately, he’s had the hardest time sleeping anymore. It was a new feeling to him, but he was sure it was just him being sad is all. Nothing out of the ordinary, but something about bringing it up at the moment didn’t seem alright with him. He shook it off, grinning over at his partner-in-crime lazily. “Tired’s all. Just need to go home and sleep y’know?” Matt stood up slowly, stretching his lanky body so he could pop his back.  
Ryan stood up too, cocking his head as he looked at the taller man. “Matt seriously, I know when you’re upset and I’d just like to hel-“  
“Seriously, Ryan. Can you lay off?” Matt’s tone was like poison, spitting directly into Ryan’s face. He sighed, packing up his coat and wallet. He left Ryan’s keys on the table for him to grab, and walked out the door of the recording room briskly. Ryan stood there for a minute, mouth agape like he was going to call out to him, but shut it. He didn’t know what had gotten into him, and he respected Matt’s privacy but at the same time he knew Matt just needed to talk about it. He’d give him space and try tonight after they got home. Ryan grabbed his keys and said his goodbyes as he followed an impatient Matt out of the office.  
The car ride was awkward to say the least. Before Ryan could even put the car in drive, Matt had already hooked up his phone to the aux and was playing some of his chill music. He turned it up pretty loud so Ryan knew not to bother him, and he took the hint. Occasionally, Ryan would glance over at Matt. He would be so absorbed in the music, he wouldn’t even notice Ryan staring. Once, Ryan swerved a little too much on the side, hitting the rumble strips. He quickly looks back to the road, his face flushing slightly as he felt Matt’s penetrating glare on him.  
With a soft tone, Matt sighed. “Keep your eyes on the road, man. Kill the both of us today, huh?” An exaggerated chuckle left his lips, but it didn’t last long. The space felt even more awkward with no response from Ryan. Matt fidgeted with his fingers, slowly reaching over to turn the music up more. Ryan quickly stopped him, holding his wrist and moving it away from the knob. Matt didn’t put up a fight, and instead pulled his hand into his lap, not wanting to start anything more. The ride ended shortly after with Matt getting out first and running up the apartment complex stairs. We waited for Ryan at the top and followed right on his heels. Inside they were greeted with an energy-filled Lego and an equally excited-yet-not-so Banana.  
With a few scratches behind the ears and friendly pets, Matt immediately went to his room. Ryan could faintly hear the door lock behind him, and a loud groan emitting from his friend.  
Later that night, Ryan was on the couch watching the Iron Giant. It was clear that he knew every line, Matt could hear him speaking in-tune with the lines even from his room. The past few hours Matt had been laying in his bed playing music softly as to not distract Ryan, and trying to get even a wink of sleep in. With a reluctant turn of the knob, he walked out into the living room. Ryan was sitting on the couch sprawled out with a bag of potato chips by his side. Finally noticing his friend staring at him from across the room, the older man moved his potato chips and motioned for him to take a seat.  
Matt hesitated, but sat down at a distance away from the other. He leaned back into the couch, making him somewhat comfortable. Glancing over at Ryan, who was deeply invested into the movie but also not wanting to annoy him, Matt unfolded his arms, turning to sit facing towards the other. Ryan noticed this and turned to face him back. “Ryan, I don’t really know how to bring this up without me looking like an entire douchebag from earlier, and I..” Trailing off suddenly, it was clear to Ryan that talking about this made him really upset. “I really don’t expect you to care at this point because I was so rude but I,” Matt inhaled shakily, closing his eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”  
Ryan, a bit taken aback by what Matt had to say, furrowed his brows. He watched as Matt held back tears, feeling a bit guilty himself for pushing him earlier. It hurt him to see Matt like this, he rarely ever did unless it was something really bad. At this point Matt was sobbing into his hands, hunched over as he tried to hide himself from the embarrassment. Without thinking, he leaned in and embraced his friend, placing his chin atop his head. “Hey, Matt c’mon..” Ryan rubbed his back slowly as he sobbed into him, Matt now gripping the back of Ryan’s shirt.  
It was almost unbearable for Ryan to hear Matt like this, it felt like a piece of him shattered in an instant. He closed his eyes, letting Matt cry it out like he hadn’t gotten to do in a long time. Between muffled sobs into Ryan’s shirt, he mumbled out I’m sorries after I’m sorries to him quietly.  
Ryan hushed the other, leaning back to look at his friend. He looked like a complete wreck, complete with red, puffy eyes, his under-eye bags more prominent than usual and he looked exceptionally drained of color. Matt took a few shaky breaths trying to compose himself enough to properly speak a sentence. “I don’t know what to do, I feel so worthless and empty, and tired. God, I’m so tired. I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus over and over and I can’t get up, I’m a fucking helpless wreck, please I just..” He met eye contact with Ryan, tears beginning to slow. “I need someone to talk to, I need someone to help me.”  
The bigger man sat in silence. It was a wave of relief at the same time as a tidal wave of fear. The man sitting in front of him, his best friend pleading and wanting his help, hung his head in shame. “I feel dumb, it’s nothing, I-“  
Cutting him off, Ryan brought Matt in for a tighter embrace. The younger felt a flip in his stomach, slowly reaching around Ryan and hugging him as tightly as he could. “I’m here,” Ryan muffled into the other’s neck softly, closing his eyes as they sat in each other’s presence. He took in the other’s scent, which wasn’t that pleasant seeing as that Matt hasn’t showered in the past three days. Matt took in short, staggering breaths as he calmed down, eyes closed as he moved in closer to the other male. In a swift movement, Ryan moved Matt up onto his lap.  
Without a word, Matt pulled away slightly to look at him. His scruffy beard and long hair were disheveled, and his deep brown eyes looked tired. For a moment he thought of how handsome he was, but stopped himself quickly. This wasn’t the first thought he’s had like this, in fact these were the reason he’s kept himself awake. He couldn’t live with himself if he knew, but with Ryan’s actions he really didn’t feel shame in thinking like this. Should he?  
Matt was a mess. His light brown hair sticking out in every direction, and how his eye bags were so prominent made him look terminally ill. His eyelids were heavy and it felt like all of the energy had been sucked out of him. It hurt to see him like this, the thought of Matt hurting made him feel it, too. Ryan couldn’t help his feelings, but would rather not live with a roommate who could possibly reject him thus living with him in fear of their friendship. He cared too much about Matt to see him like this. He felt guilty for not realizing something was really wrong sooner.  
“Ryan, I don’t know..how to say thi-“ Quickly, Ryan interjected by moving to connect his lips with the other’s chapped own. As quick as it had started, Ryan pulled away. Without a word, Matt closed his eyes in relief, leaning down to rest his head on the other’s shoulder. In a matter of minutes his soft snore could be faintly heard.  
Closing his eyes, Ryan exhaled one final time before falling asleep peacefully.


End file.
